Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Writing Challenge #4 Entries

A round of applause to my three entrants: Kaitlyn K, Jesseca Dawn, and Faith P. Thank you! Each of your entries were wonderful! Every one did a great job expressing just how "appearances are often deceiving." Keep your eyes out for the next writing challenge!

Kaitlyn, your entry was very different from what I expected. I like it! Thanks for adding a different and not as common twist!

    It was the day after Christmas, and I woke up to the worst cold of my  life-- well, I suppose that’s what I would call all the bad colds I’ve had.
    I read my devotions while sitting on the furnace vent, attempting to warm  myself-- not a very easy job-- and then headed to the table to eat a warm  (but not so tasty, in my opinion) breakfast of oatmeal.
    “Morning, Kate,” Mom said, looking up from the sink, where she was filling  the coffeepot with water.  “Did you sleep well?”
    I shrugged.  “As well as can be expected with a nasty cold.”
    Mom raised her eyebrows. “Didn’t I tell you to take some medicine as soon  as you felt that cold coming?”
    I nodded and sighed.  “Yes, you did.  Do I really have to eat this  stuff?”  I complained as I stared down at my bowl.
    Mom nodded. “Yes, you have to eat that stuff.  I can’t believe you don’t  like it!”  She tossed me the honey bear.  “Here, put some honey in it; that  makes it better.”
    I thought for a moment, then shook my head.  “No thanks.  I think I’ll go  unhealthy.”  I got up and and a few moments later, I came back to the table  with the container of brown sugar.
    Mom sighed and shook her head as I plopped a spoonful of brown sugar into  my oatmeal.  “You’re already sick, and you have to make it worse by eating  sugar?”
    I shrugged.  “It’s better than suffering through a bowl of oatmeal.”
    “That’s why we have honey here.”
    “I’d rather have honey on bread, and brown sugar on oatmeal.  ‘Brown sugar  makes the oatmeal go down’,” I said solemnly.
     Mom raised her eyebrows.  “And where did you hear that quote?”
    “You’re quoting your big brother now?”  Mom chuckled.  “That sounds like  something he’d come up with.”
    I grinned and inhaled my oatmeal, sounds of my siblings playing ping-pong  downstairs drifting up through the vents.
    After breakfast, I headed downstairs.
    Head pounding and nose stuffed, I rounded the corner and watched my  siblings’ hands move swiftly.  Finally, Kon hit the ball too hard and it  sailed over the table.
    I smirked and looked at his face to see his reaction when I saw- the head  of an alligator?  Looking over at my little sister, I rubbed my eyes.  She  had the head of a... what was that?  A cross between a monkey and a snake?
    I closed my eyes and shook my head.   I was so tired; was I hallucinating?
    I trudged slowly back upstairs and located my mom.
    “Uhhh... Mom?”
    Mom smiled at me from where she was typing on the laptop.  “Hey.”
    I scratched my head and grinned sheepishly.  “I’m probably crazy... but I  went downstairs, and Kon had the head of an alligator and Kara had the head  of some sort of a cross between a monkey and a snake.”
    Mom raised her eyebrows and chuckled.  “Really?  They’re still having fun  with those Halloween masks?”
    I slapped my forehead and groaned.  I must have been so tired when I went  downstairs that my mind didn’t put the pieces of the puzzle together.
    “Appearances can be deceiving, Kate!” Kara’s laughing voice floated up  through the air vent.

 Jesseca Dawn: your entry is an important lesson in itself and a perfect example of how people may not seem to be what they truly are and trust should not be easily given out. Thank you for participating!

Joyanna fought to get away from the grip of SS Lieutenant Erich Essler. "Please, I have to go. Luisa is sick and I'm supposed to get the doctor. Mrs. Carson said so."
Erich glanced around, "and where does the doctor live?"
"Not too far. Just pass the church."
"How about I take you there and then make sure you get back home safely?"
Joyanna, startled by his friendliness, stopped fighting. "Are you sure?"
He nodded.
"Alright, I'll show you the way." she slipped her hand in his and pulled him along as the made their way through the mud and maze of soldiers, tanks and bombed out buildings.
"Here we are," Joyanna announced, stopping in front of a small office. Knocking on the door, she called out, "Dr. Paul, Mrs. Carson needs you."
The door was opened by a smiling man who appeared to be in his late forties, "Ahh, Joyanna. Can I help you?"
"Luisa isn't feeling well and Mrs. Carson said she needed the doctor."
"How are your mother and sister doing?" he asked as he walked over to his desk and picked up his bag. "Are they home?"
"No, they were taken away last night. But I wasn't because I was with Mrs. Carson," she said sadly.
Paul glanced up sharply at Erich, "oh, I'm sorry. I hope they can come back soon."
Joyanna smiled, "Me too. Well, let's get going. Lieutenant Erich said he would make sure we got back safely."
"Oh, really?"
Joyanna nodded, "I don't like soldiers, but I decided he could help."
The doctor glanced nervously toward the Eric at Joyanna's words, but saw nothing but a blank look.
Shutting the door behind him, he joined them as they made their way back to the Carson's.
When they got there, Joyanna ran ahead and opened the door, "I got the doctor, Mrs. Carson."
Mrs. Carson hurried to the door, "Oh, praise God! I was afraid--" she stopped as she caught sight of Erich
"It's okay. he was just making sure I stayed safe."
"I see. Well, thank you," she said, addressing him.
He tipped his hat, "No thanks needed, ma'm. I'm happy to help anytime."  He turned to leave, but when he got to the door he stopped and glanced back at Joyanna. She caught his gaze and grinned. He smiled back, a smile that didn't reach his eyes, then closed the door behind him.
Joyanna walked over to the window and watched him. He glanced back at the house, and the expression of his face caused Joyanna to shrink away. What's wrong with him? she thought. Why does he hate me, but pretend to be nice?
Lieutenant Erich quickened his pace as he hurried away from the house and towards the building the German headquarters. He opened the door, letting a shaft of light into the otherwise gray building. 
Once, inside he strode over to the front desk. "I need to see Colonel Koby at once."
Koby's aid, Captain Herrick, glanced up at him, a weary look on his face. "Lieutenant, I'm afraid there are many soldiers who wish to see the Colonel."
"You don't understand. I have information that will be of great importance to him."
Herrick glanced at him for a moment, then stood, "Alright, but this had better be mighty important."
Oh, it will be. Erich smiled smugly to himself, Colonel Koby will be pleased to know of a way we can get all the information we need without lifting a hand. And out of a Jewish girl, no less. Yes, he'll be very pleased.

Faith: your story was a very cute illustration of the moral. It had a humorous angle that I liked. I really enjoyed reading it! Thank you for sending it in!

 Seventeen year-old Samantha Wright hopped out of the driver's seat of the family SUV. She still wasn't sure why Dad had sent her to pick up her brother, Shaun, coming home from deployment. It was not as if she wasn't thrilled at being the first family member to welcome him home after fourteen long months away. But navigating the airport alone, although she'd did it numberous times before, made her a little nervous. 
 She sighed as she clicked the remote to lock the car and started walking across the expansive parking lot. Sure is hot today, she mused. The beaming sun, reflecting up from the black asphalt, made her feel like a melting Popsicle. She nearly laughed out loud at the ridiculous, almost allegoric, comparison. 
 Samantha quickened her pace to get inside the airport and out of the unbearable Arizona heat. 
 Although she didn't enjoy going to the airport alone, she was quite familiar with the whole setting. And soon, without encountering many difficulties, Samantha found herself searching through the crowds of people for Shaun. 
 A uniformed man with his back to her caught her eye. That has to be him. Samantha grinned and hurried towards him. 
 She was only a few feet from the young man when he turned around. Samantha gasped and stopped in her tracks, feeling her face quickly redden. This man was not Shaun. She offered a friendly smile and continued on her way, trying to act as if nothing was wrong and she'd been going that way anyhow. How could I have been fooled so easily? 
 After several more minutes of scouring the throngs of travelers, she spotted Shaun among them. Finally. "Shaun! Over here!" She waved to him. 
 He ran up to him and swept her up in his arms, spinning in a wide circle. She laughed with joyous tears in her eyes. "Welcome home, big brother." 
 He set her down and then hugged her again. "Good to be home, sis." 
 Samantha studied her brother and then glanced across her shoulder, searching for the man she'd mistook as Shaun. 
 He frowned. "Sam, what are you doing?" 
 She shook her head and smiled. "Oh, I was just thinking how deceiving appearances can be." 
 Shaun's left eyebrow rising, as it always did when he was confused or teasing, he smiled suspiciously. "What's that supposed to mean?" 
 Samantha laughed. "I'll explain it in the car. Let's go home."
Thank you, everyone for participating! I enjoyed your entries and I'm sure my other readers will also. I hope that you had fun and are as excited as I am for the next contest!


  1. Great job, Jesseca and Kaitlyn! I loved reading your entries. :) Thanks for hosting, Bethany!!! ;)

    1. You're welcome! Thank you so much for participating! The more entries I get, the more fun it is!

  2. Seeing as I have a very bad cold right now I can strongly sympathize with the first story! ;)
    These were fun to read!

    1. No fun. :-( I hope you get better quickly and I'm glad that it hasn't hindered you from reading my post! Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Great entries!! So bummed I missed entering this contest. Hopefully next time


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